Watermelons – Take the Relationship Test

Outer beauty is a gift. Inner beauty is an accomplishment. –Randi G. Fine

I love me some watermelon. It’s one of my favorite summer foods. At least it was until this morning. Instead of great tasting, now it seems more about relationships. What? Hang with me, the relationship test is coming, but first, you must understand the watermelon.
It must be fascinating for the security staff at supermarkets to watch folks sifting systematically through the watermelons, conducting all types of inspections, in what they believe is the true test to tell whether the watermelon is good. They tap, thump, press, and look with laser focus at each piece of fruit until they find, the one. This video displays the behavior I’m talking about perfectly! The woman looks pretty confident that her test is fool proof. I think not.
I must confess, I’m not a thumper or a tapper. I’m one of those that goes by external appearance alone. I especially look to see if the watermelon has a nice yellow spot indicating that it was left to ripen on the ground a little longer than those without this “mark of perfection.” I don’t know why I keep repeating this behavior, since as a scientist, I can say with certainty that the reproducibility of this test is the pits. No statistical significance here folks. That was proven this morning beyond any doubt.
I awoke and went to the kitchen to find a large pool of liquid on the counter. I thought it was condensation from a large pitcher of ice water I had left there overnight. I was distressed that the water had reached one of my tested watermelons on the counter. I went to pick up the watermelon and my thumb went through the rind. Still thinking it was the water that had made the rind soft, I moved the watermelon aside and cleaned up the mess. I then noticed a new patch of liquid where I had laid the watermelon. It was then that the smell hit me. Yuck! I picked up the watermelon once again and carried it to the sink. Thank goodness I was at the sink because it exploded! Watermelon guts everywhere! The smell was nauseating. Half a bottle of 409 cleaner and the smell still lingers.
It’s going to be a while before I eat another watermelon.
Because I’ve been smelling this watermelon all day I’ve also been thinking about it too. As usual, my mind starts to think there must be some lesson in this.

Conducting a relationship test on a potential friend is like looking for a good watermelon in a bin.

1. Some of us don’t look so great on the outside but inside we are amazing. Just get to know us, go ahead, thump us, tap us, cut us open and see for yourself. We are willing to be exposed for what we are inside. Relationship test = Pass.
2. Some of us look so good on the outside we could fool just about anyone into thinking we are great through and through, even though inside we are rotten to the core. Our rottenness is so intense that we are just waiting for someone to take us home, poke us, and we will explode, spewing our rotten character everywhere. Sorry, relationship test = Fail.
3. Others of us look great on the outside. We pass all of the external tests ever created, but upon closer examination, we just ooze rottenness, slowly and steadily, sapping the life out of others. Relationship test = Fail again.
4. Still others of us are fortunate enough to look great inside and out. But then again, like watermelons, the rind isn’t really what we are after is it? At least not in a meaningful relationship. Inside is where the good stuff lies. Relationship test = Pass, and you look great too. Bonus!

People, like watermelons, need to be examined and tested in order to determine what their true character is. If you rely too much on external appearance you can be fooled and either you will put the rotten ones in your basket, only to find out later how rotten they are, or you will leave some pretty nice ones in the bin.
Someday, I’m sure my desire for a good watermelon will return, so please share you “test secrets” in the comments for good relationship tests or finding good watermelons! I’m sure we can all use some advice on both.

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