(3 minute read)
Disclaimer: This article is not about birth control methods, infertility, accidental pregnancies, or abortion.
It is about these common ideas women get in their brains when it comes to babies.
Here are 7 risky reasons to want a baby:
- He will marry me. Wrong! Ok he might, most likely not, but even if he did do you think this is the type of foundation you should seek to build a lasting relationship on? By in large this scenario leads to a woman in poverty, with a baby to raise on her own. Sorry ladies, but this is the reality. No one is going to make him do right, pay up, or be a good daddy; not you, your friends, law enforcement, the court system, not even the government.
- It would help save my marriage. Wrong again. If a man is not content in your marriage what on earth makes you think he is going to like it more with the responsibility of having a baby in the house? Again, the logic fails here. If you are having relationship problems, the root of those problems needs to be tapped and helped. A baby will not fix anything. Again, this scenario most often leads to either an even more tumultuous marriage or to you living as a single mom.
- I will not be lonely. She who does not enjoy her own company will not find the company of any other to help.
- I feel broody. Ah, hormones. These biochemicals are not valid measures of how, when or why we should take action. Think about it, these are the same root cause of menopausal symptoms like lashing out with death threats to loved ones, followed soon afterwards by, “hold me.” They are the same cause of postpartum depression, and premenstrual symptoms as well. Need I go on? Hence, you should never follow hormones to want a baby without your brain in gear and following close alongside.
- All my friends are having babies. Well, there are a lot of comments I thought about adding to this one but then again this should be enough. This is junior high logic at work.
- I will get unconditional love. The need to feel loved is strong. Yet, bringing another life into this world to fill your hearts vacancies is not the best of ideas. One night we were having dinner with friends who had children. The wife said something to the effect of, “But if you don’t have kids you will never get that unconditional love they bring.” For starters their children were still in the young and innocent stage where this was true. They had not yet reached the age where they can indeed decide to love you or not. Besides this fact, the husband responded with quick and wise words, “Come on honey, for real? You can get unconditional love from a dog and it will last the dog’s whole life. You don’t need a kid to get that.”
- I want to feel needed. Women have a strong desire to feel needed. As a result, many times we weigh our self-worth by how needed we feel. This is part of the reason we can become obsessed with being “busy”. Try this, instead of running around frantic to convince yourself and those you come in contact with you are a “busy mom” and so needed, seek rather to create self-value through character, knowledge, and wisdom.
In conclusion, there are plenty of good and healthy reasons to want a baby. None of them are listed here.
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